


Unspoken Oaths

by OpaqueXApathy



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man, Sexual Content, two old hot guys, vague references to Merthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-19 03:21:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1453594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpaqueXApathy/pseuds/OpaqueXApathy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the anniversary of Arthur's birth, Uther mourns the loss of his mother. But he's not alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unspoken Oaths

**Author's Note:**

> These two.. I'm usually not all that into older men but these two are definitely the first Merlin and Arthur. Seriously. Think of the history. Gaius, if we use the actors' actual ages, is 20 years older than Uther. So he was not only there when he was born but he was around his entire life. And twenty years after that even. Yeah. That blew my mind. I don't think just anyone stays around Uther that long without losing his head.

The hallways were deserted in this part of the castle. 

The stone halls reverberated nothing but silence, they were cold to the touch, and not often did they witness the passing of another soul. It was in this section of the castle that the queen quarter’s, barren and empty, would reside. Her court would also reside here, servants – not nearly as large as the king's but still expansive and considerable in size. This section of the castle carried ghosts. No one ventured in and no one out. Nothing was cleaned and nothing was touched.

It was as quiet as a tomb.

It was here that Uther Pendragon found an aching kind of solace. A painful, deep ache that struck him far more deeply than any sword or arrow could. It was a never ending suffering – one that lingered and ensured a slow death by means of emotional torture. A torture inflicted not only on the heart but also the soul.

No one ventured here but him. Guards kept watch of all entrances too and out of this section of the castle but never within and none of the rooms that lay inside.

No one ventured into this section of the castle but him and one other soul. Gaius.

There was an unspeakable connection to a presence so solid, so steady and constant, that was purely indescribable. The court physician had been there at the time of his birth. He had delivered him into the world – his first time to having done so – and he had delivered countless others afterwords over the steady course of their time knowing each other. He had been present to deliver not only the king of Camelot into the realm of the living but also it's only prince – Arthur. And he had borne witness to the death of a queen and a part of Uther's heart and soul.

Uther and Gaius' forbidden love affair had started young. He had been but seventeen, Gaius had assumed position a decade and five years past as court physician after the last had been slain in battle and he had just himself turned thirty seven. Though Uther had started to notice and take interest in him before then his father was a harsh and unforgiving bastard who'd beaten him at the slightest provocation. It was one reason why he swore never to raise a hand to Arthur – no matter how badly his temper might soar or how badly Arthur might defy him. It was a promise to himself he'd barely kept.

He'd been pompous, arrogant at that age and Gaius had been an unobtainable, gorgeous fixation. Curly, thick hair of golden – piercing blue eyes and a fit but lean form, Gaius had been the embodiment of temptation. Especially to one so young, coming to age as he had. A young lad full of wanton desires and unspeakable passions that he had yet to understand.

And oh he had lusted.

It brought a smile to his face now, the foolish things he had done to be nearer to him, all that he had risked just to catch his eye. Surreptitiously from afar of course. And away from the scrupulous eyes of court... not so much.

Gaius had been the only one to speak of him on equal terms. To defy him. To counter arguments and in doing so bring out the best in him in ways all the pressures of court and the grooming of king never could. It was why Uther allowed much of what was so obviously happening between his son and his manservant to continue. Because it was such a rare gift in their position to find someone such as that. To be as near to equal as ever possible. To be near in general. To be close like no one else could.

Uther wasn't sure what he fell in love with first. The unique and rare bond that was or the person on the other end. Immeasurably it could be considered an equal tie with no real way to tell what had in fact come first.

The sound of a door opening down the hall did little to startle him. Hardly in fact. The guards would only allow one person to enter and only one person would ever think of visiting him here. Only one person knew he visited these lonely, desolate halls at all.

“My lord?”

It was a quiet, gently posed, respectful query. One that Uther granted with a slight nod of his head, glancing up at his court physician momentarily before casting his eyes back out through the stained glass window that overlooked the most beautiful courtyard in all of Camelot. He maintained it for her. She had loved to look out this very window and the balcony off of her room which was situated just above it. But here at this window and only here could she watch him return from battle. As she had many a time through many wars, battles, and strife. Standing here, as she had, was the nearest he could get to her. There was never a time when he'd returned from Camelot after her death that his eyes hadn't been mournfully cast towards this very window.

Gaius' footsteps were almost silent and Uther didn't startle when he was suddenly much nearer. A warm hand, wizened by age, covered one of his and though Uther's hands were not bare and covered by leather gloves – he could still feel the heat of him. It was a light that cast out darkness and it was a warmth that thawed his frozen heart.

Walls didn't exist between them. Not here.

In front of the royal court and everyone else, yes, they had to exist. Sometimes it was impossible to keep them up even then and sometimes they slipped. Ever still Gaius was the only living soul he'd bared his own too time and time again. He had seen him in all states, all manners of distress, near death and at the brink of life at the very beginning of his. 

The king of Camelot lowered his head, the painful ache around his heart become one of love given – not of love lost. It seized him like a great, gripping wave of emotion. Salvation. His gloved fingers curled around the ones wrapped around his hand, both of their hands nearly the same size so much of what he gripped was fingers. It was more than enough. It was everything.

“Gaius.” he said, unable to stop the broken lilt. He did not feel worthy.

There was a soft sound from the man beside him, a sound that was very nearly silent, and the court physician stepped much closer – his body practically resting against Uther's. A hand came up to rest upon his back and Uther leaned ever so slightly into it.

This day was never easy. Arthur's birthday was a very celebrated event. But that was for the day. The nights, after the festivities were over and everything was finished, was for mourning. It was only Gaius who bore witness to his private hell and the deepest pit of his despair. It was only Gaius who listened if he needed to speak or simply stayed silent when all Uther needed was the presence of the man. And he was there in other ways if neither was enough. When only the warmth of bodies, the meeting of souls, and sharing of comfort of the physical kind could assuage his pain. If even just for one night, to see him through until dawn.

The hand left his back and there was another barely perceptible sound, Gaius reaching up with hands still steady to touch the scar over Uther's head. The scar from a wound that had cracked his skull, nearly spilled his brains – a gash sustained in battle that had gone down as legend, still told to this day. Camelot had not been taken easily.

It was Gaius who had mended him, as the same with many other injuries far less infamous and some just as. But it was this injury, the one no one thought he would survive, that had been the very worst. Gaius had not left his side and Uther between consciousness always glimpsed him there, with him, never straying and never leaving. Not until he was well again. Gaius who had put him back together and made him whole again. Just as he always had and just as he continued to do so.

Uther made a sound he scarcely recognized from his own lips, a well of emotions welling up within his eyes that he wouldn't let spill. He reached up to catch Gaius' hand with one of his own and pressed his face into it, letting his eyes falls closed and releasing an exhale of gratitude unspeakable, love profound, and relief so great it shook him. It was a balm to an injury that had no other treatment but this.

His voice didn't come to him easily but he forced it past his lips, low and sure. “I need you Gaius.”

“You have me, sire. Now and always.”

Uther released his hand, gripping the one still covering his, and pressed close to the man – claiming his lips as surely as he ruled his own kingdom. Decisively, firmly, and resolutely. At one time the age between them hadn't seemed nearly so fast. Blinded by love Uther wouldn't doubt himself but Gaius' age had assuaged him little of his desire for the court physician. Even now when the twenty years between them were very clear and obvious and the fragility of the man reminded him to take much more caution and care than they'd ever had – it did not stop him from wanting him on occasion, desiring him. He just tempered himself. Greatly. And a physical joining were rare. It didn't stop them from other things. But on this night, here and now, when need arose – no questions were asked, no guilt was to be had, and Gaius offered himself with a freedom and a desire to serve him out of a love that Uther truly cherished.

Uther reached up, resting his hand on the side of his dearest friend's face – tonight lover – as their kiss lingered and stretched on until he had to pull away for air. Their eyes met and locked and Uther took his hand away, a movement of his hand that took great amount of effort. Their other hands were still firmly grasped and he kept them that way, moving away from the window to lead Gaius to a room they had occupied before. On this day, practically this very moment, last year. Although Uther vaguely recalled it might have been much later in the night then. The sun had hardly set now, a contrast to the blackness illuminated only by torches he remembered as if it were yesterday.

Uther led him into a room now no longer used or tended too. He refrained from calling in servants to light the fire, for there was a chill to the air as the sun began to set, but he wanted nothing to interrupt what was about to transpire.

There was no room for self consciousness, Uther didn't allow it, reaching out to offer a bit of aide as Gaius removed his tunic – revealing only a loose long sleeved shirt and breeches beneath – Uther roving his eyes over the other man with a hunger he wouldn't deny. And it was with sure, confident hands that the court physician reached for his belt and Uther tossed the man's tunic aside onto a chair nearby, watching with pleasure as Gaius undressed him. He reached up to place a hand onto the side of his face once more, caressing a still gloved thumb over a cheekbone and watching raptly as the court physician undressed his king.

Gaius' eyes barely left his. After the belt and sword came his jacket, the physician pushing it off his shoulders. Every brush of his hands was a subtle type of pleasurable torment. Uther felt alight with it and already he was becoming hard, yearning for that next brush of fingers. And it came next with an unbuttoning of pants, the court physician slipping a hand inside and cradling his hardening erection in a palm, rolling and squeezing the sacs beneath as he pressed the rest of his body much closer.

Uther's eyes fell closed and he allowed himself a groan of approval, reaching up to grip his lover's arms. Gaius didn't undress completely anymore, he had stopped doing so years ago and it would be only awkward if Uther did the same so he didn't. He left whatever on that was comfortable, sometimes he divested them both of their pants and assuaged any protest by directing his passion to the fullest of his ability of making sure his partner was in the end completely satiated, attended too, and the maximum amount of pleasure had been obtained. Rarely did he receive any protest after that.

Gaius breeches were much easier to reach inside and he groaned softly as a gloved hand came in contact with the other man's mostly flaccid penis. It was starting to harden, he could feel that, and quips and jokes aside on Gaius' part about old age – Uther enjoyed and relished that he had to work harder, that it was a challenge. It made even the slightest of pleasures an achievement and increased his double just by catching any signs of it from the other man. The way the court physician parted his lips now, his breath caught, and his eyes took a challenging light to them was a perfect example. His eyes were intense, an expression now that could be easily mistaken for anger but dared him to do much more than that. He was a man that liked his control, especially over his emotions, and to be undone in such a manner was very nearly a scandalous feeling. But his eyes, that look, said so much more than that. It was also an order, as much as he could give, not to stop.

Uther had never prided himself on being a patient man, sexually. Hard now nearly to the fullest under Gaius' hand he urged him towards the bed beside them with slightest of touches, firm but direct. Gaius went without needing any word other than that and barely had he laid back onto the bed before Uther was joining him, crawling over top of him carefully. With a care in fact that got him a scolding look from the man beneath him. The king just flashed him a grin and still with a slight glare, Gaius took the grin right off his face by reaching down and quickly divesting himself of his breeches, kicking his boots off with them.

Uther lost his breath immediately and quickly moved to answer with his own declaration of undress, pushing his pants off his hips and down his thighs. He divested himself of his boots as well and let both garments join Gaius' on the floor. A rare privilege indeed for his lover to bare himself to him in this fashion as much as he just had. In many ways Uther would both understand and not Gaius' reticence towards complete nudity in his presence. He understood aging, it happened to everyone, and he understood the way a view of oneself changed as one aged. But Gaius... Uther could love him no less and thus his understanding immediately waned. But still he respected it. With absolute and unwavering devotion. The last thing he wanted to do was make him uncomfortable.

Gaius opened his legs to accept his king between them without hesitation and Uther breathed a low breath of pleasure at the gesture. He didn't waste anytime to do just that, the settling of their skin against each other divine. Gaius' length was still mostly soft against his own and Uther reached between them to try and remedy that, gripping them both together in a gloved fist – more careful because of Gaius but firmer around his own. He gasped softly, thrilled to hear a matching sound from the man beneath him.

“Uther.”

Uther groaned, leaning down to place a bit more weight upon him, pressing their bodies as close as he could with his arm and hand between them. Gaius was hard now and Uther took a supreme amount of pleasure that his touch had been enough to do it. Had given Gaius such pleasure. But by the time Gaius was hard, Uther was near to the edge, erection hard and leaking against his palm and Gaius' own length. He wasn't going to last long but he was determined to last as long as Gaius.

Unable to lean on one arm any longer, Uther released them both, reaching up to grasp the bedsheets and covers beside Gaius' shoulder as he gave into his desire and need for the man. Submitting to both was sweet ecstasy, something which was shared, Uther letting out soft breaths of pleasure against his court physician's neck as he thrust his erection onto his.

He started a steady rhythm, leaving both men scarcely with breath, Uther staring into a gaze that seemed endlessly blue. Gaius didn't flinch, didn't waver from his gaze, something which Uther admired greatly. Here was a man who gave back all that he gave him. Here was a man who wasn't afraid to stand up to him but it never wavered into disrespect. Here was a man with whom he could be wholly himself, who he could physically take solace in just as he could with everything else.

Uther lowered his head near to the court physician's shoulder, thrusting steadily, the friction of their erections aided by pre-come. He was rapidly becoming lost and so was Gaius, the older man hardly idle. He now had a hand to the back of his neck, the other gripping his arm tightly, near enough to bruise. Uther himself had a hand buried in his hair, face pressed against his neck, breathing in the scent of him. His ear was near to his mouth, enough to feel his hot breath upon him in a way that sent shivers down his spine. Near enough to catch every gasp, every moan of pleasure. Uther would have much rather been inside of him but to be with him was an immeasurable comfort and gift. And they hadn't had the time for anything else. Uther wouldn't have waited for anything else.

Gaius' grip on his arm momentarily tightened and he half groaned. “Sire-”

Uther groaned in response, quickening his pace just slightly but careful not to thrust too hard.

And then Gaius came.

The sensation of his cock releasing it's seed against his own in hot torrents was his complete undoing. Uther groaned, his hips lost rhythm, and he thrust against the man near to in his arms once more before he joined him in release. They came against each other, hot and hard. Gaius' eyes had fallen closed, steady gasps and an occasional groan fell from his lips, the grip on his arm ironclad. Uther tightened his own grip on everything – Gaius' hair and the sheets beneath them, holding still as they came down from their respective climaxes.

As he roused from a seemingly vast gulf of pleasure, he felt a hand stroking against his back, steady and firm. Uther pushed himself up to rest on his elbows and Gaius removed his hand, turning a breathless smile up at him. Uther returned it but how to put into words what everything that had just transpired met? He couldn't find any, so he lowered himself once more to rest against the man beneath him, taking him into his arms and gathering him close. And maybe too tightly but the man beneath him didn't protest. Instead he wrapped his arms around him and did the same, holding him close and just as tight.

Uther forced himself to withdraw before he burdened Gaius too much with his weight, unable to help himself as he caressed a hand down his arm, over his chest, skimming over his stomach and across a bare leg as he sat up. His hands were still gloved and he was delighted to see this had elicited a shiver of pleasure and a groan from the court physician laying for all appearances boneless on the bed beside him. Uther could strongly relate to the feeling.

“Stay.” he felt suddenly compelled to say, surprised when the words actually left his mouth. But now that they were and there was no taking them back – and he didn't care too – he opened his mouth to explain further. “With me. Tonight.”

Gaius moved to sit up, smiling softly, and Uther immediately reached out a hand.

Never too proud to take it, Gaius let Uther help him sit up. The court physician put his legs over the bed, hip to hip with his king beside him now, and nodded after a moment of silence. “Of course.”

“You don't hav-”

“I want to.” Gaius reached out and put a hand on his knee, “Of all nights Uther, this is one in which I wouldn't dream of you being alone. That to me would be more like a nightmare.”

Uther reached out and covered his hand with his own, “One which I share.” he admitted, reluctantly. But Gaius prompted an openness from him which no other soul did.

“I want to stay.” Gaius said, smiling softly at him.

“My quarters then. I'll clear all servants and guards and post Sir Kay to that wing. We won't be bothered.”

“I thought I gave that young man a tonic to help him sleep.” Gaius said with a bit of an amused smile as they stood to dress.

“If you gave it to him than it should work-” Uther said, turning an almost smile in his direction, a sparkle in his eyes. Many implied memories made Gaius chuckle and Uther handed him his breeches. “And that implies he's simply not taking it.”

“I'll have a talk with him.”Gaius brushed away his hands and Uther smiled softly, watching with loving approval as the other man helped him dress – as efficiently as an expert manservant but with a touch of adoration that warmed Uther to the core. As beastly as he could be, he scarcely felt he deserved this. To be dressed yes, to be attended too as the king of Camelot of course. But with love... love was something he felt almost an exemption too. Certainly one not worthy.

When they were both dressed, Uther reached out to take Gaius' hand, giving it a brief squeeze. “Wait here.”

He found the guards down the hall posted outside one of only two entrances to the queen's wing and told one of them to bring a servant. When a girl returned, swiftly, red of hair and fair of skin – her hazel eyes remained firmly averted to the floor as she gave him a deep curtsey. “My lord.”

“Tell the kitchens to send a food tray to my rooms and have my rooms prepared. I will be retiring for the evening. You may tell this to Tedrick and Josiah, my manservants. They will see to everything.”

“Yes my lord.”

Gaius was waiting for him outside the room they'd just shared when he returned, Uther slowing his stride briefly in the shadows of the hall. But when Gaius turned a smile in his direction he resumed his previous pace. Night had well and fallen and since they were well and alone, Uther reached out and took the other man's hand. Together they headed for the opposite entrance, a quicker route to his own quarters and the one less used. All the better for Uther truly didn't want to relinquish the grasp of their hands.

But in this direction they had to pass the hollow and empty queen's chambers, long abandoned and left unattended. Uther let no one enter them. Let no one enter this side of the castle upon paid of death and he had guards see to the order. It was a painful wound, empty and aching. One which was left as bereft and hollow as these halls and rooms.

Uther paused outside the door and hesitated, reaching out to the solid oak double doors. About this time, well into labor, Arthur's infant cries had filled the room and the halls outside. And so to the queen of Camelot had taken her last breath.

Uther let out a slow breath, an agonizingly painful one at that his chest felt so tight, and let his palm touch the cool wood. Leaning into his hand Uther bowed his head and felt his heart skip a beat. He wanted to go in but he hadn't since last year and he couldn't now. Not even with Gaius at his side as he had the last time.

He felt a gentle squeeze of his hand and turned to look at the man beside him, surprised to see tears in his eyes, even in the darkness of the hall only illuminated by a single window.

Uther drew in a sharp, short breath, and hastily blinked tears of his own from his eyes – taking his hand off the door.

And it was together, as they always had been, as they had on that night many years ago and now, that they left those empty halls and rooms. It was together, hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, as it always had been and as it always would be.

~END~


End file.
